Staring at the bottom

What happened to me, what was it I didn't see

I don't want to believe this is how it's going to be

I have lost something that I probably never had

But I know I have never missed anything this bad

Is it just me or could it be true life let me down

Pushed me, and left me bruised on the ground

Something deep inside me started changing

Could it ever be possible for me to like living

I'm standing at the edge staring at the bottom

Seeing my vulnerabilities but I can't solve them

Tell me how to let go of my fear for the future

What can I do I used to hide pain with humor

Nobody ever heard me or did I forget to speak

Scared to be a burden, I thought I was too weak

Tied a knot on my heart and painted on a smile

It seemed to work for me, but only for a while

If only I hadn't ever learnt what hurt meant

Go back to when playing was the only content

I am looking at myself from the outside crying

What I have seen in my entire life is terrifying